Going forward by going back.

Posted: October 28, 2011 in Writing
Tags: , , , , ,

Oy!  What a montage!I never really wanted to grow up. I only stopped playing with toys because I knew girls wouldn’t date me if I still pitted Optimus Prime and the gang versus GI Joe or a Lego building on a regular basis. But that’s what I wanted to continue doing. Looking back, I don’t think that’s because I was immature for my age (Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Transformer-boy.) but rather that I so enjoyed the stories I created using those metal and plastic playthings.

My mother worked a lot when I was in elementary school, so I would get off the bus at my Grandmother’s in the afternoon most evenings. At some point, I found a long, metal tube that became my sword on a regular basis. For what seemed like years I would battle imaginary foes with my magical sword (of course it was magical, c’mon!) Then one day I came to find that my cousin, who lived next door, had taken this sacred object out into the corn field behind my Grandmother’s house and somehow lost it. I spent hours questioning her as to where she had played with it and scouring the area oh so carefully on the chance that I would happen upon it. I never did. It seemed even the fates were telling me it was time to grow up.

I think I’ve decided to start looking again.

I think writing for me is about standing up in defiance against all those voices that said to stop imagining and to start doing, as if the two were mutually exclusive. Imagination, I came to believe, was a thing for children and the slightly off. Well, my understanding is that God quite enjoys the child-like and I don’t really mind being labeled as slightly off. So, if it’s okay with you (and, quite honestly, even if it’s not) I’m going to keep playing with magical characters that spark my imagination, even if they are a bit less plastic-y and a lot more word-shaped these days.


  1. Chris says:

    I loved every word, loved it! Of course I did (Dungeons and Dragon girl) I believe you spoke to a whole host of kids trapped in other peoples ideas of what an adult is. Screw them all. Peter Pan told me that you can come join us in Neverland whenever you like!

  2. linzlulu says:

    I agree. Remembering our childhood is the simplest (and free) way to center ourselves; living in “an adult world” can be so complicated at times. Now that I am in my late 20s I profess my love for The Muppets, and Ghostbusters and anything remotely fun and silly more than ever before, even if it only gets me 1 or 2 “facebook likes”—I will not hide it. It’s perfectly fine for us to be serious and to take care of responsibilities as much as it is important for us to remember to mentally get away sometimes. If it takes going back to move forward, then so be it. If you want to write about it, then do it. Putting images and memories into words allows the content of our imaginations to be shared with others…and also a concrete diary we could revisit ourselves.

    You can never go wrong with anything that puts a smile on your face.

  3. […] presents his defense of living creatively in Going forward by going back posted at Killing the Blank […]

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